Preaching it!

A Message of Love

   As you go through this transformation of becoming a Deacon you find yourself doing things you never imagined you could do--like preaching a sermon. 

   As much as I'd like to say "Boy, am I skilled at this!", the fact is the process you learn at the School for Deacons (sfd.edu) is equal parts of research and prayer. Each time I start working on a homily I suffer doubts of having anything to say, but somewhere along the process the message comes.

   I preached the following at the Episcopal Church of St. John the Baptist Church in Lodi, CA on Sunday, October 29th, 2017:

Leviticus 19: 1-2, 15-18

Psalm1

1 Thessalonians 2: 1-8

Matthew 22: 34-46

      In 3^rd Grade my teacher, a nun in full black habit, started preparing us for our First Confession. Now what an 8 year old would have to confess is still beyond my comprehension! She handed out a list of sins, and explained that if you die with certain ones staining your soul you go straight to the bad place, but with others you stand in the hot waiting room until the spin cycle is done (OK, that last part is my interpretation!). It sounded like you were doing your laundry before you went on a long trip!

   Now, handing out this list of sins is like banning a book: If you want to increase your book sales, try having someone ban it! The 8-year old me was sitting there trying to figure out what fun there might be in the lesser offenses, when a thought occurred to me:

   “Sister! If I’m on my way to Confession and get hit by a bus, is it good enough that I was on my way there?” “No, you would still have sins staining your soul” she answered.

   I raised my hand again “Sister! If the bus hits me after going to Confession, then would I be OK?” “Oh yes,” she replied, “your soul would be all white!”

   I should have stopped there, but even back then I didn’t know better! “Sister! If God loves us, then why would he let the bus run me over while I was on my way to Confession?”

   That did it! Out of the class I went.

   Little did I know that another Roman Catholic, a priest and scholar no less, had a similar idea long before. Martin Luther had been studying this Jewish revolutionary named Paul of Tarsus, and drafted a list of 95 propositions to be the basis for an academic debate concerning the forgiveness of sins and the selling of indulgences. On October 31, 1517 (500 years ago this Tuesday) Luther mailed his 95 Theses to Albert of Brandenburg, the Archbishop of Mainz, and over the next several weeks posted copies on churches in Wittenberg  as an invitation to scholars for a debate.

   The operator of a new technology called the printing press copied Luther’s 95 Theses and they began circulating like a wild fire all over Europe, sparking what became known as the Protestant Reformation. Luther would go on to develop the idea that we are saved through God’s grace and faith alone, and not by our works or deeds—a radical idea for a Church that believed in centralizing authority!

   The people of 1^st Century Judea lived under a Roman controlled theocracy. Local synagogues were dominated by the Pharisees, the Sadducees controlled Temple worship, and the Chief Priest was appointed by the Roman Prefect. In a land where most people couldn’t read, the scribes could read Scripture and record legal documents.

   Over time these religious leaders had replaced the idea of faithfulness to God with scrupulous adherence to the 613 commandments in the Torah. How could illiterate people know which law to follow, or which one they violated, or how to make amends? Of course the Pharisees, Sadducees, and scribes were happy to help them find right relationship (righteousness) with God.

   Then along comes this Rabbi from Galilee, Jesus, who stirs up the people with this talk of the coming Kingdom of God. Crowds start following him around the countryside, disturbing those in power.

   The scribes and Pharisees hope to trap Jesus in a debate when they ask “Which commandment is the greatest?” Jesus answers them in a way they can’t argue with, and goes on to stymie them by asking them to explain how the expected Messiah could be David’s son when David calls him “Lord”.

   The followers of Jesus who are listening to this exchange are suddenly filled with joy! “’Love God with your whole heart, and love your neighbor as yourself?’ That’s the whole law? Hey! I can live that way without having to memorize 613 commandments of the Torah, or asking the Pharisees!“

   The people burst out laughing in joy, and also at the “dear-in-the-headlight” expression on the faces of the scribes and Pharisees, who become angry and murderous for being embarrassed in public by this upstart Rabbi.

   For some reason I see Jesus trying to contain his smile throughout this whole event. Was he being intentionally funny, or did the scribes and Pharisees walk right into it? I’m not sure, but for me this idea of the fully human Jesus is what I most easily connect with in my faith.

   It is difficult to envision God our Creator who is both within us and without, and not part of this space-time continuum, but somehow involved in it.

   We have the Holy Spirit of God that reaches out into the world to inspire people to do crazy things—like becoming a deacon, or a priest!

   We have an image of Jesus sitting on a thrown waiting to return to Earth to put all things in order, like we have pictured in our beautiful window above us.

   While acknowledging the full divinity of Jesus, I also envision the fully human Jesus—the brother I can relate to—the friend I can cling to.

  This is the Jesus who was fearful in the Garden; who wept at the death of his friend Lazarus; who was angry at a fig tree for having no fruit (Mk 11:12-14); who in a fit of exasperation called one of his closest friends “Satan”! (Mt 16:23)

   This is also the Jesus, though, who enjoyed a good meal with friends and strangers (Mt 11:19); loved to tell good stories with meaning; changed water into wine at a wedding feast because his mother told him to (John 2: 1-12); and yes, he laughed and had a sense of humor, just like all of us. This is the Jesus I can relate to! This is the part of God I can have a conversation with!

   Before I started at the School for Deacons I spent a year in discerning this call. I was really reluctant to follow this path.

   I prayed, “You can’t really mean me, God! This clay pot you formed (Isaiah 64:8) was smashed into pieces early on against the hard, granite wall called reality and I’ve been trying to glue it all back together ever since.”

   God said to me, “I am the glue.”

   I prayed, “But I don’t even know if the pieces are put together right. I must look like a complete mess.”

   God said, “Have you ever heard of Picasso?”

   I said “Yes…”

   God said, “He is one of my favorite artists. You look great to me!”

   I said, “You think everyone is your favorite artist!”

   God said “Yes, that’s right!”

   I prayed again, “But Lord, this clay pot is full of holes and cracks, and if you pour anything into it it’s just going to make a mess all over the place.”

   God said to me, “That’s right, now you’re getting the idea. I’m going to pour my love into your heart. You’re not supposed to keep it contained—you’re supposed to spread it all over the place—let it leak out!”

   You see, once you realize that God loves every one of us, that each of us is the most important person to God, your heart can’t help but to erupt in a joyful shout of praise! I am important to God! Every single one of you—every single human, even the ones out there--are important to God! All of creation is important to God!

   How can we respond to God’s love for us? “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

   We are called as followers of Jesus to love every single person we encounter in this life, and find ways to reach out to them. I am answering that call in this path I am walking—in this way I am living—in this commitment I am making.

    How will each of you respond to God’s call?

   Country artist Hillary Scott has a song called “Beautiful Messes” that makes me smile whenever I hear it. It goes:

We ain’t perfect, no

We ain’t even close

We got holes in our hearts

We got scars we don’t show

But all that baggage we keep on dragging around

Ain’t it time we start laying it down?

Lay it down at the foot of the cross

Give it to the one who can carry it all

Even at our worst, to him, we ain’t lost causes

Just beautiful messes.

Amen.

Perseverence

Not my efforts, but yours, Lord!

   Working full time and going to the School for Deacons is challenging in its own right. Inevitably family and life issues are thrown into the mix and you have days when you wonder if you'll make it to the next Weekend, never mind the end of the semester.

   Depending on where I worked that day, I use the drive time home by listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Pray As You Go, a Jesuit Ministries program that uses a combination of music and scripture reading. Taking a bit of your day for prayer and meditation is essential to shifting gears to School and Church modes.

   It was during one of these challenging times that the Spirit helped me with the following homily for Evening Prayer at the School for Deacons on Saturday October 21, 2017:

2 Kings 25: 8-12, 22-26

Psalm 110: 1-5; 116; 117

Matthew 11: 7-15

   Expectations! I’ve come to wonder recently if expectations should be the 8^th deadly sin—you know, after pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. Or could it be it’s some kind of compound substance of the seven?

   People seem to have this expectation that if they’re late for a meeting or appointment, everyone else should get out of their way, and become angry when they don’t!

   You plan a party or dinner for a group of friends or family and expect that everyone will be happy to come, until you start getting the questions about “What’s being served?”, or “Are you inviting this one?” causing you pull your hair out in frustration.

   We elect politicians to represent us and actually expect them to act in our best interests, and—Well, we can all see what happens with that!

   In Jeremiah’s time the people of Judea expected that God would vanquish their opponents. After all, Jerusalem and the Temple had been standing for over 400 years since the time of Solomon! Their mighty God would come forth from the Temple and smite all those heathen out there, right?

   Most of them ignored the warnings of Jeremiah. They had consolidated land, wealth, and power into the hands of the privileged few, ignored the plight of the lower end the of the social and economic spectrum, and had turned the worship of Yahweh into a good luck charm, while forcing Jeremiah and Baruch into hiding for daring to speak God’s truth.

   After the formerly privileged few had been carried off to Babylon, the walls of Jerusalem torn down, and the temple and other buildings had been razed and burned, one of the people who had listened to Jeremiah, Gedaliah, expected that the Jews who remained could now see that Jeremiah had been right. Gedaliah agrees to meet with Ishmael to talk some sense into him. Ishmael promptly assassinates him, and then in terror runs off to Egypt, with the hapless Jeremiah in tow—Jeremiah, the prophet who spoke of the emptiness of expectations and instead preached the unwelcomed truth of God!

   By Jesus’ time the Jews had come to build their own expectation of what the Messiah will be. Even John the Baptist, the one who said “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near,” (Mt 3:2) has been caught up in this expectation of an earthly, militaristic Messiah who will free them from Roman oppression. John sends messengers from his prison cell asking “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?”

   Rather than answer directly, Jesus sends them back with the admonition to tell John what they have seen and heard: “the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good new brought to them”. There is nothing earthly, or political, in this pronouncement!

   Jesus asks the crowd who is with him “What did you go out to the wilderness to look at? A reed shaken by the wind?” At that time, King Herod’s emblem on coins was a Galilean reed waving in the wind. Can you imagine our President going out to live in the wilderness dressed in camel’s hair and a leather belt, eating a diet of locusts and wild honey? Yes, the reaction from Jesus’ crowd would have been the same.

   Jesus goes on to explain that John is the greatest of the prophets, but that even the least of those who believe in this new Kingdom of God are greater than John. The poor and outcasts are greater than all of Israel’s prophets?? What joy must have filled their hearts to hear this! What a complete re-write of expectations!!

   Rather than a Messiah that will conquer the Romans and restore power to the Jewish people, Jesus talks of the violence done against the Kingdom of God by people who demand that God should be subject to their wishes, and not that they be subject to God’s way of living. In the hearts of these people Jesus plants new hope, and new life, but also a new expectation of persecution and rejection.

   I ask myself “What are our misguided expectations of God today?” What quickly comes to mind is the end times pronouncements supposedly based on the Book of Revelation: that any day now the faithful will be Parousia’d up into the sky and God will smite all those disbelievers and abominations that are out there—all those people that have been declared cast-out, un-clean, not-Christian!

   We wander through a society that teaches greed is good, that the purpose of life is to collect more toys. That those who have money are blessed by God, and those who have nothing are cursed and meant to be that way—that there’s no reason to clean up the mess we’ve made on this Earth since God is going to take all of the ”saved” Christians up into the sky. Does any of this sound like the Kingdom of God preached by Jesus?

   In our course on Christian Ethics we read a reflection, out of The Green Bible, by Bishop N. T. Wright, a prominent Bible scholar. Contrary to end-time signs of “The End is near!” or “Heaven or Hell: It’s your choice!” Wright’s reflection is entitled “Jesus is coming—Plant a tree!”

   Wright points out that Paul writes in Romans Chapter 8 “For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God,…” (8:19) and also writes “We know that the whole creation had been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption…” (8:23-24)

   Does this sound like a creation that is going to be utterly destroyed? Would creation be waiting “with eager longing” to be wiped out? This sounds more like creation is yearning to be restored to new life! Just as we hope to be saved through the gift of grace by God, creation, too, hopes to be restored by the coming of God’s Kingdom.

   God’s Kingdom is already leaking into the world through the hearts of her followers. The people of the Jesus movement are called to be the advocates for God’s justice and restorers of God’s creation.

   As future deacons we are called to expose the emptiness of expectations of greed and destruction, and call people to a vision of new hope in the restoration of God’s creation and a new age of humanity as the beloved caretakers of God’s Creation.

   In spite of our brokenness God calls us as heralds for his Kingdom, prophets of his Truth, and caretakers of all of his creation. Like all of God’s people before us we may face rejection and violence, and yet we give thanks for all that God has done for us.

   In this journey to become deacons the words of Psalm 116 speak directly to us:

“How shall I repay the Lord for all the good things he has done for me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the Name of the Lord.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.”

Amen.
  

Continuing the Way

Transformation through School--and prayer!

   Having just finished the 2nd Weekend of my 3rd year at the School for Deacons I have that strange feeling that I just started this process a few months ago, and at the same time forever and a day ago. The School for Deacons (sfd.edu) does more than educate the future deacon--it is a formative process that results in the building of a unique community of people.

   When I started the process of discernment I had so many self-doubts. How would I get the work done? How would I have the time? How could I ever be "good enough" to be a Deacon? I've come to realize that I have been transformed by this process at School and in my Diocese. 

   Preach a homily? Me??? Yet now I find myself doing just that, thanks to a combination of training, praying, and inspiration from the Spirit.

   Here is my latest homily given at the School for Deacons on September 10th, 2017:

Proper 18, Year A

Exodus 12: 1-14

Psalm 149

Romans 13: 8-14

Matthew 18: 15-20

   The Book of Exodus begins, “Now a new king arose over Egypt, who did not know Joseph” (Ex. 1: 8). This brief passage, almost a footnote, speaks volumes to us this morning. Even though it doesn’t appear in today’s reading, it is the event that leads to the confrontation between Pharaoh and Moses—between secular ruler and Heavenly Ruler.

   Joseph, his family, and the Israelites were welcomed into Egypt centuries earlier when Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dream and predicted seven years of bounty and then seven years of famine. Joseph is appointed Pharaoh’s steward, and his project to store grain and food is such an overwhelming success that the people of Egypt continue to prosper under Pharaoh’s leadership while selling surplus grain to the kingdoms around them.

   From a strategic standpoint Joseph’s plan to survive seven years of famine didn’t just maintain the status quo in Egypt. Seven years of a famine would have drained the resources of every kingdom surrounding Egypt. To feed their people, kingdoms would have sent money and goods to Egypt in exchange for food for their people. One year of this would be hard enough—seven years would have cleaned out the treasury of any kingdom. By the end of the famine, kingdoms who hadn’t already pledged loyalty to Pharaoh would have quickly folded in the face of any Egyptian offensive.

   By welcoming these strange people of Joseph’s, and apportioning land in his kingdom for them, Joseph’s Pharaoh made a brilliant strategic move that magnified the strength of the Egyptian empire for generations to come.

   So what happened? How did these people who gave Egypt a competitive edge over its neighbors end up as slaves 430 years later (Ex. 12: 40)? In my Union career I noticed that you could negotiate the best contract for a group of people that included raises, job security, better medical benefits, and improved pensions, and a week or so later be asked by the members “So, what have you done for me today??!!” Gratitude seems to last as long as short term memory!

   These people of Joseph’s not only looked different than Egyptians—they acted differently, too. They worshiped a different God—“Heck, they don’t even know his name! They mutilate themselves as part of some agreement with their God! They smell bad—look at how many of them herd sheep! Just how many sheep does one need?” (I can see them complaining about this as they’re eating a leg of lamb for dinner. Think of who picks our crops in the Central Valley.)

   Eventually Egyptians become envious of these “Joseph people”. “Why should they have all that land? What are they doing for us? “Let’s give Egypt back to the Egyptians!!!” In the meantime successive Pharaohs start discounting the value these people have brought to Egypt as they convince themselves that really it was Pharaoh God-King who made Egypt an Empire. Over time the imposition of laws and edicts reduce the descendants of Israel to slave status.

   We aren’t told how many generations the Israelites lived as slaves for Egypt, but the only ones who knew freedom were Moses and Aaron. By the time of this morning’s reading, the specifications for the Passover remembrance, the Egyptians and Israelites had already witnessed nine miracles of these brothers from Midian.    

   While Moses claimed the mantle of speaking directly with God, Aaron was his spokesperson and performed many of the rubrics himself—almost a pseudo-Deacon! In this Passover event, however, it is God who performs the last act of freedom while Moses and Aaron are left waiting.

   For the Israelites the miracles continued on: God led them with a “pillar of cloud by day” and a “pillar of fire by night” (Ex. 13: 21). The waters of the sea were parted, Pharaoh’s army was destroyed, and manna rained down from heaven. Moses is not gone long up Mount Sinai, however, when the Israelites fall back to making idols. “What have you done for me lately?” comes to mind.

   Keep in mind, though, these people had lived a lifetime in fear while slaves in Egypt:

·        fear of the whip,

·        fear of the overseers,

·        fear for their next meal,

·        fear for their children,

·        fear of being singled out when the safest play was to blend into the herd.

   In other words, Herd Mentality—Mob Rule. When people live with a herd mentality, self-preservation takes precedence over care for others. Individuality becomes the victim of survival.

   “Blend in! Agree with the group! Find a scapegoat! I’m afraid—let’s find an idol!” Fear transforms relationships into an ugly evil of Mob Rule.

   Looking at it through this lens, the remembrance of Passover takes on new meaning. The lamb is divided proportionally based on who is at the table. There is order and equality to this meal of community, quite different from a herd mentality of “take what you can get”.

   The “Law of Moses” becomes a “Guideline for a Loving Community”. The 40 years of “Wandering in the desert” is really a “Journey of Faith” that transforms these slaves into a community of people who trust that God cares for each of them individually, as they also come to recognize the value of each individual: “These are my brothers and sisters because God cares for them, too!”

   Where are we on this Journey of Faith today? This country, that has as its motto “E pluribus unum” (out of many, one), finds its citizens marching around with torches dressed in uniforms of white shirts and brown khakis, or black masks in black clothes, demanding uniformity in belief or race.

   People who have contributed greatly to this country, thanks to their diversity and work ethic, are victimized by people who have been left behind in this age of globalization and free trade, by a culture that worships the gold-plated idol of greed. Love is replaced by fear, and debate is replaced by violence. Is this the way of Jesus?

   By the time of Jesus, the teachings of Moses, meant to bring people together in loving community, had been distorted by an aristocracy that used the “Law of Moses” to keep its people subjugated and oppressed.

·        Don’t rock the boat!

·        People who are different are excluded.

·        Fear is the motivator; uniformity is the requirement.

   Any prophet that comes along to say otherwise is eliminated—John the Baptist, Jesus, Paul—all are executed!

   Paul’s message in today’s reading is “’Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the Law.” This is a dangerous message, because when fear is replaced by Love, miracles happen, and miracles free the oppressed and depose the oppressors.

   Our Gospel reading this morning reflects the importance Jesus places on individuals. There is no demand that everyone must conform to the same standard. People who are different are not excluded or thrown out. In this reading Jesus stresses the importance of individuals in the community. We see here an encouragement to work out our differences—to talk to one another, both alone AND in community.

   We are not expected to be uniform in our beliefs! We are only expected to love each other and be open to each other’s differences.

   It is easy for people to give up on Love and fall back into fear and herd mentality—to forget the heights we have achieved thru “e pluribus unum”. Somehow it was easy for Aaron, our pseudo-Deacon, the man who witnessed the miracles that freed the Israelites, to give in to the herd mentality and fashion the golden idol while his brother conversed with God on Mount Sinai!

   As Servant/Leaders of the God of Love we are called to be prophets for the God of Love to dispel the darkness, expose the fear, and call God’s people to wrap themselves in the Love of God and Love of neighbor.

   I pray that God will give each of us the courage and wisdom to call our brothers and sisters into loving community. Jesus says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

Amen.

Candidacy

Candidate for Ordination

   After more than a year in discernment, and two years at the School for Deacons (sfd.edu), I reached the next stage of my journey a few weeks ago: Candidate.

   In the Diocese of San Joaquin a person who is Postulant can request consideration to become a Candidate for Ordination. Interviews are conducted by the Standing Committee of the Diocese and the Commission on Ministry. Your original application is reviewed, along with your progress in the course of studies you've been following.

   I have noticed over time that some of my fellow pilgrims in this process become tense and anxious when facing these interviews. For me, though, I felt very relaxed. I have come to trust that I am being led on this path for some reason only known to God, and that wherever I ended up must be where God intended.

   This idea of "Trust in God" allowed me to be free in the discussions I had with the different committees I met with. If they didn't like what I said, well my answer would be "Well, this is who I am, rough edges and all." 

   Was I still looking for the Exit Ramp? A selfish side of me still hoped to go back to an uncommitted faith, but the larger part of this "New" me would be disappointed. I've come to realize that for me there is no "going back"--I have been transformed too much to return to the once-a-week religious practice. My day-to-day life and my spiritual practice have become too intertwined to separate them by days any longer.

   Despite the work I have done at School, or the answers I gave to interview questions, I still believe that I am only continuing on this journey because the Spirit is leading me there. 

   For inspiration and reflection I've been reading "The Celtic Way of Prayer" by Esther De Waal (see Recommended Books). It's a marvelous book touching on the holistic way of prayer in Celtic tradition that recognizes the Spirit of God intertwined in the environment around us. De Waal recounts a prayer titled "The Dear's Cry", that tradition claims is from St. Patrick, and which inspires me since being approved as a Candidate:

VII

Be Christ this day my strong protector:

against poison and burning

against drowning and wounding,

through reward wide and plenty...

Christ beside me, Christ before me,

Christ behind me, Christ within me;

Christ beneath me, Christ above me;

Christ to the right of me, Christ to the left of me;

Christ in my lying, my sitting, my rising;

Christ in heart of all who know me,

Christ on tongue of all who meet me,

Christ in eye of all who see me,

Christ in ear of all who hear me.

IX

For to the Lord belongs salvation,

And to the Lord belongs salvation

And to Christ belongs salvation.

May your salvation, Lord, be with us always.

   Faith is a journey, not a destination. If you stop looking for the path, you will never find your way. Never stop asking yourself "What is God calling me to do?" The answer may surprise you!

   I start my third semester at the School for Deacons this coming Saturday. I still have no idea where I may be going, but I trust that God will lead me there.

   May God's Peace and Love rest on all of you this day!

Postulancy, Perseverence, & Prayer

Postulant and Student

   In your first year of discernment in my Diocese (of San Joaquin) much time was spent on working to achieve the goals of Aspirant and Applicant in hopes of reaching Postulant. Once you're reached the Postulant stage the emphasis shifts to education. 

   It's not that you're no longer "in the process". You continue to participate in your parish and Diocesan events, and you're invited to attend clergy meetings and retreats. This gives you ample opportunity to confirm this "clergy thing" is the path you want to walk, and it also builds your sense of belonging to a new clergy community of support.

   As you enter the education process, though, the process of Steps to Ordination is set on a back burner for the first two years. A new challenge presents itself: Going back to school. 

   It took me several School for Deacons' weekends to develop my routine. During School sessions my horizon focus is reduced to just three weeks at a time. What do I need to get done before the next School Weekend? Which subjects should I tackle first? What am I scheduled for at our next School Weekend worship services?

   Trying to balance this with a full-time job is hard enough, but then throw in all the "regular" problems that life brings you along the way, in addition to the difficult situations you may encounter at work. How long does anyone really go between family conflicts, emergencies, house and car repairs, and on and on... 

   You come to realize, too, that even when you finish School and you enter ministry, is life any less challenging? When you're in ministry, can you tell people "Not today, dear, I already have too many issues going on?" I came to realize that if I want to balance my outer life, I must be balanced in my inner life, too. 

   In the midst of all of this it's easy to fall into a pit of despair and lose your way. The tasks and problems can seem insurmountable, which is why the sense of community we have at School for Deacons is so important. A struggle is bearable when you share it with others. You are required to have a Spiritual Advisor and attend meetings with a Spiritual Formation Group, but you also have your fellow students faculty, and administrators to lean on. 

   Most importantly, though, you come to recognize that you are moving through all of this not only by your own efforts, but by trusting that the Spirit is moving you, too. No one can do this on their own, but only through the help of faith and community. Come to think of it, that's exactly what the early followers of Jesus found in their journey! May the peace that only God can give walk with you!